Raising a toddler or young child is a joy—and a journey for learning. One of the most valuable skills you’ll help your little one develop is sharing. But let’s be real: teaching sharing isn’t always easy, especially when “mine!” is your little one’s favorite word.
As a parent, you've probably witnessed the classic scenario: your toddler clutches a toy tightly to their chest, emphatically declaring, "Mine!" Let’s face the facts, sharing doesn't come naturally to young children, and that's perfectly normal.
Teaching your child to share is an essential part of their development. It helps them build friendships, develop empathy, and learn important social skills they'll carry into adulthood.
In this blog post, we'll explore why sharing can be challenging for little ones and offer practical, lighthearted strategies to encourage this valuable skill. We'll also share some fun stories about how doddl utensils can make sharing not just easier, but enjoyable for both you and your child.
Why Sharing Matters
Sharing isn’t just about handing over a toy; it’s actually a key core social skill. Learning to share helps children build empathy, understand others' perspectives, and form positive relationships.
For parents, knowing why this sharing matters can make it easier to stay patient during the teaching process. After all, we’re not just trying to keep the peace; we’re helping our children grow into caring, considerate adults.
Why Sharing Is Tough for Toddlers
Let’s start with a little reassurance: if your child struggles with sharing, they’re not being difficult—they’re just being kids.
Young children are naturally egocentric, which means they view the world largely from their own perspective. They’re only beginning to understand ownership and often see toys as extensions of themselves.
From a developmental viewpoint, sharing can feel like giving away a part of themselves. Toddlers usually start to grasp the concept of sharing around 2 years old, but it’s still tough. And that’s okay. It’s all part of the learning process.
When to Start Teaching Sharing
Most children show interest in other kids and their belongings around the age of two years old. This is an ideal time to start gently introducing the idea of sharing, but it’s essential to keep expectations realistic.
Remember. sharing is a skill, and like any skill, it takes time, practice, and plenty of patience. Many children do not master sharing until three years old.
The "doddl Dilemma" - A Sharing Lesson at the Dinner Table
Imagine this: It’s dinner time, and your little one has their doddl utensils in hand—a spoon that’s perfectly sized for their grip, a fork that makes spearing food fun, and a knife that’s safe but actually cuts. The pride in their eyes is clear—they’re in charge of their food!
Now, here’s a playful twist to add a bit of fun and interaction to the meal that focuses on sharing. Place a bowl of colorful fruit—like berries, apple slices, watermelon pieces, or cut-up grapes—in the center of the table, and encourage each child to take a piece and pass the bowl along.
With each pass, you can add excitement by saying something like, “Oh, who’s next to choose a tasty piece?” This way, they get to practice taking turns and interacting with one another in a fun and relaxed way.
Sharing at the table can make sharing feel natural and fun, rather than forced. It’s a lighthearted way to introduce the concept of sharing without the pressure.
Strategies for Encouraging Sharing
Teaching sharing is all about making it feel safe, natural, and—dare we say it—fun. Here are some simple ways to help kids feel comfortable with sharing:
Model Sharing Behavior
It’s time to take center stage for a sharing lesson. Show your child how it’s done.
Offer them a bite of your food, hand them a pen to draw, or trade seats at the dinner table. Toddlers learn a lot by watching, so let them see you sharing in everyday situations.
Use Simple Language
Start with easy phrases like “your turn” and “my turn.”
Toddlers are concrete thinkers, so straightforward language helps.
Make turn-taking part of your daily routine—whether it’s with toys, games, or sharing food at mealtimes.
Offer Praise and Encouragement
Never underestimate the importance of giving your little one ample praise. When your child does share, make sure they know you’re proud of them.
Positive reinforcement, like “That was so kind of you to share your toy with your friend!” can make a big difference. Celebrate those moments, even if they’re small!
Practice Taking Turns
Sharing doesn’t always mean giving up a toy forever. Taking turns is a great way to start. Try games that involve turn-taking, like rolling a ball back and forth, to help your child get used to the idea.
Try “The Great Toy Exchange” Game
Imagine two toddlers sitting side by side, each with a small toy or object they’ve brought to the table—maybe a little car, a figurine, or a colorful block. You can turn this into a simple sharing game by suggesting, “How about we take turns passing our toys?”
Encourage them to slide or hand their toys to each other, giving each child a moment to explore the new item before passing it back.
To keep it lively, you might add a playful countdown—“Let’s pass the toy back in three…two…one!”—or invite them to describe something special about each toy. This way, the little ones are sharing their belongings in a way that feels like a game and learning that taking turns can be a positive experience.
With "The Great Toy Exchange," toddlers can practice the joy of sharing without pressure, enjoying a playful, interactive moment that naturally builds early social skills.
When They Refuse to Share
Inevitably, there will be times when your child flat-out refuses to share.
Here’s how to handle it with empathy:
- Stay Calm: Take a few deep breaths and stay calm. Refusing to share is completely normal. Try to avoid showing frustration, as this can make sharing feel even more intimidating.
- Empathize with Their Feelings: Let them know you understand. Say something like, “I know it’s hard to share your favorite toy. I’d feel the same way.” Validating their feelings shows them that their emotions matter.
- Offer an Alternative: If your child is struggling, try suggesting a different toy or activity to keep the peace while giving them a choice.
The Role of Playdates in Learning to Share
Playdates offer excellent opportunities for children to practice sharing with friends. However, it’s essential to set them up for success.
Set Playdate Expectations Ahead of Time
Start planning in advance! Before the playdate, talk to your child about sharing and let them know it’s okay if they need help.
Supervise and Support
Stay nearby to guide them through any sharing conflicts. Sometimes, your little one will need a gentle reminder that sharing makes playtime more fun.
Understanding Individual Differences
Every child is unique. Some children naturally share with ease, while others need more encouragement. Remember to avoid comparing your child to others, as each one learns at their own pace.
Patience is essential, and with consistent encouragement, even the most reluctant sharers will come around.
Teaching Sharing Takes Time
It’s important to remember that sharing is a skill that develops gradually. Keep modeling sharing behavior, praising your child’s efforts, and practicing patience. And don’t forget to have a little fun with it. After all, if we can make sharing enjoyable, it’s that much easier for our kids to embrace it.
In the end, helping your child learn to share isn’t just about making them better playmates—it’s about raising kind, empathetic people who understand the joy of giving.
FAQs for Teaching Children to Share
How do you teach a child to share?
Teaching a child to share can be challenging, but patience and modeling the desired behavior can help. Use gentle encouragement, praise small efforts, and practice sharing through play. Creating opportunities for turn-taking and explaining the importance of kindness can make a difference over time.
At what age should children learn to share?
Sharing typically begins to develop at around two years old, though every child is different. At this age, children start to understand others’ feelings and the benefits of cooperation. However, the concept of sharing may take several years to fully grasp, as it requires maturity and practice.
Why do young children struggle with sharing?
Young children struggle to share because they are naturally egocentric and may not yet understand others' perspectives. They may view possessions as extensions of themselves, making it challenging to part with toys or belongings.
Learning to share is part of emotional and social development that evolves with time.
How can parents encourage children to share?
Parents can encourage sharing by modeling the behavior themselves, setting clear expectations, and offering positive reinforcement.
Engaging in group activities, playing games that require turn-taking, and praising moments when a child shares can strengthen this behavior. Setting boundaries while respecting the child’s need for personal space also helps.
If I don’t teach my child to share, will they learn it on their own?
While children can learn sharing through interactions with others, parental guidance is key to reinforcing the concept. However, without encouragement and teaching moments, children may take longer to adopt sharing as a habit. Parents and carers play an essential role in helping their children understand the importance of sharing.
