How to Teach Toddlers to Use Cutlery: A Step-by-Step Guide

Teaching toddlers to use cutlery can feel like a big leap, especially when your little one seems determined to treat the fork like a hairbrush and the spoon like a catapult.

First things first: if you’re wondering how to teach toddlers to use cutlery, you’re in good company. This is a common milestone, and like most things in toddler life, there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline. But when the moment comes, cutlery training for toddlers is a big part of boosting independence and developing fine motor skills – and yes, it can be magical when it clicks.

Whether your child’s a confident eater or more of a food-flinger, there’s plenty you can do to gently guide them through this stage. From when toddlers use cutlery to how to support their hand-eye coordination, here’s your calm, clear, and occasionally messy roadmap.

When should toddlers start using cutlery?

So, when should toddlers start using cutlery? Honestly, we’d recommend from the very beginning of your child’s weaning journey. While many families introduce cutlery somewhere around 12 to 18 months, there’s no reason your little one can’t start earlier. In fact, offering cutlery from the start of their weaning journey is a great way to encourage mealtime independence right from day one.

Even before they have the coordination to scoop, poke or aim accurately, simply exploring a spoon or fork is part of their learning. It helps build familiarity, encourages fine motor development, and gives them the message: “This is yours to try.” That’s big stuff for a small human.

Of course, not every child will take to it straight away, some will ignore the cutlery in favour of their trusty fingers, and that’s completely fine too. The point is that having it there, within reach, gives them the chance to learn at their own pace.

A better question might be: is your toddler ready? Here are a few signs to watch out for:

• They can sit up independently at mealtimes
• They’re happily feeding themselves with fingers
• They’re showing interest in what you do with your knife and fork

If they’re still early in their weaning journey, starting with baby cutlery is ideal – it’s specially designed for little hands just getting started. As their coordination and confidence grow, you can transition to toddler cutlery when they’re developmentally ready, typically sometime after 12 months, but it depends on the child. The key is choosing tools that support them at each stage, helping them build skills gradually and independently.

Wherever they’re at, mealtimes can be playful, low-pressure, and full of learning – and even messy food exploration helps build those all-important skills.

Step-by-step tips for teaching toddlers to use cutlery

When it comes to teaching toddlers to use cutlery, think baby steps, quite literally. Toddler cutlery training is about consistent encouragement rather than expecting instant results. Here’s a step-by-step approach to get started:

1. Let them watch you use cutlery

Children are natural imitators (often at the least convenient moments). Letting your toddler watch you use a spoon or fork at mealtimes lays the groundwork for their own attempts.

2. Start with a spoon

Soft foods like yoghurt, porridge, or mashed potato are ideal for beginners. A spoon is often easier to manage than a fork or knife, and there’s usually less chance of food escape velocity.

3. Offer toddler-sized cutlery

Adult utensils are heavy and awkward for little hands. Ergonomic toddler cutlery that’s designed for grip and control makes a world of difference. (doddl’s range is a perfect fit here, just quietly.)

4. Encourage self-feeding – even if it gets messy

Yes, your floor will suffer. But that joyful chaos is your toddler learning in real time. Even if they miss their mouth 9 times out of 10, that’s 10 opportunities to build coordination.

5. Praise effort, not perfection

Think more “Nice try with that spoon!” and less “Careful, you’re spilling it again.” Positive reinforcement helps build confidence. Montessori-style approaches echo this: focus on process, not pressure.

Choosing the best cutlery for toddlers

Let’s talk kit. The best toddler cutlery combines thoughtful design with safety, comfort, and practicality. Because no one wants a mealtime tantrum triggered by a spoon that’s too thin to grip, or a fork that feels like a jousting stick.

Here’s what to look for:

Size and shape

The muscles in a toddlers hands are still developing , so choose cutlery with short, chunky handles designed for little hands. It's important the cutlery should support the transition to adult cutlery to avoid hindering their progress as they grow.

Materials

BPA-free, high quality plastic (avoid microplastics) that are dishwasher-safe are great for everyday use. Silicone parts on the handle can offer a good non-slip grip, and stainless steel adds a ‘grown-up’ feel when they’re ready.

Safety and support

Rounded fork edges help avoid accidental bumps (especially when they’re enthusiastically waving a fork mid-meal). Some cutlery, like doddl’s, also features soft-touch areas to guide finger placement, helping little hands learn exactly where to hold for better control and coordination.

Let's talk knives. 

The idea of giving your toddler a knife can be stress-inducing - but it's an important part of them developing genuine independence at mealtimes. Resist completely blunt knives that don't work - your child will simply learn that knives are pointless (excuse the pun) and will give up trying. 

It's also worth remembering that your child's wrist strength is weak (but developing), making standard knives even more difficult to use, that sawing motion we all do to chop relies heavily on this.  Look for a toddler safe knife where they can use their hand strength to help push down though food instead. 

What if my toddler refuses to use cutlery?

Now for the twist in the tale: your toddler won’t use a spoon or fork. 

Some toddlers flat-out refuse, while others wield their cutlery like mini warriors and still choose to eat with their hands. It’s not defiance – it’s just development.

Here are a few gentle workarounds:

Alternate fingers and cutlery

Let them switch between methods. It keeps things low-stress and maintains their sense of control.

Play it up

Turn mealtimes into a game. Fun prompts like “can you scoop up the pea parade?” or “let’s chase that carrot!” can spark curiosity and make using cutlery feel like play, not pressure.

Get them involved

Even small tasks like choosing a veggie or stirring something in a bowl help them feel included. You can also let them try safe slicing with toddler knives. Chopping soft foods like banana or avocado gives them hands-on practice and builds both confidence and coordination.

Above all, remember: this isn’t a race. With time and encouragement, most toddlers get the hang of it – even if you’re still finding peas in unexpected places months later.

Supporting fine motor skills through play

Before toddlers fully master their fork-and-spoon combo, they need time to build strength and coordination in their hands and fingers – and the good news is, that development doesn’t have to be finished before they get started. In fact, using cutlery (especially tools designed for little hands, like doddl’s) helps promote fine motor skills as they grow.

Fine motor development is all about strengthening the muscles in the hands, fingers, and wrists. This coordination is key to confident, controlled self-feeding.

Here are a few fun ways to help build those toddler feeding skills:

Play with playdough

Squishing, rolling, and pinching are all great for hand strength.

Stack blocks or cups

Precision and coordination in action.

Use child-safe scissors, tongs, or sticker books

All brilliant for boosting that pincer grip.

Get hands-on with food

Think soft fruit, dry pasta, or small snacks they can sort and scoop.

You’re not just making messes together, you’re building skills that make mealtimes smoother down the line.

FAQs about toddlers and cutlery use

What age should a toddler use a fork and spoon?

Most toddlers start using a spoon between 6–12 months and may start experimenting with a fork soon after. Full coordination can take longer – often closer to 2 or 3 years old.

Should I let my toddler use a knife?

With supervision, yes – especially toddler-safe knives designed for early learners. It helps build confidence and introduces the idea of cutting soft foods with care.

Why does my toddler throw their cutlery?

Sometimes it’s curiosity (“What happens if…?”), sometimes frustration, sometimes just for fun. Stay calm, set gentle limits, and try to redirect the behaviour with something more engaging.

What’s the best cutlery for a 1-year-old?

Look for ergonomic, short-handled cutlery that’s easy to grip, with soft edges and safe materials. doddl’s toddler cutlery range is specially designed for this stage.

Is it OK if my toddler still eats with their hands?

Absolutely. Fingers are a brilliant way to explore texture and temperature – and self-feeding in any form is progress.